THE WORD OF GOLF - A Bent Look at the Religion of Golf by WHITLEY HODGES

This scripture was found carved on a rock in the ancient Gaelic Language using the Celtic Ogam alphabet somewhere near the Augusta National Masters Golf Course in Augusta, Georgia by Whitley Hodges who translated its language into modern English. Whitley and his Celtic Gawffing Buddies, who regard the rock as a highly secret and sacred site, have entered into a blood oath to protect the location of the carvings at all costs.

Whitley, being divinely inspired by the sacred words of the Testamento Antiquo, went into every corner of the world seeking knowledge and wisdom so he could interpret the words found in the Holy Scriptures.

After he studied the Tao of Gawff in the Buddhist temples of Tibet, and the all-encompassing eclecticism of the Hindu religion of India, Za-Zen meditation in the Buddhist temples of Japan, and the video teachings of Bobby Jones, Jack Nicklaus, Nancy Lopez, Chi Chi Rodriguez, and Tiger Woods, he also studied the mystical Christian-Druidic teachings of the an-cient churches of Scotland and Ireland.

After spending many months with a Cherokee Shaman learning how to whisper to and placate the Alligators of the ponds and creeks of the Golf Courses of Myrtle Beach and Hilton Head, South Carolina, He became a Druid, Shaman, Alligator Whisperer, and Golf Guru of the highest order.

Finally, he felt qualified to return to the Deep South, and write his Commentaries on the True Words of the unknown author(s) of the Holy Scriptures found carved on the rocks near the Augusta National.

Today, Whitley, a former over-the-road 18-wheel truck driver, and a recovering lawyer, is deemed one of the highest Masters of the Ancient Order of the Druids of Golf.

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