Work from Home: Holy Grail or Wolf in Sheep's Clothing?

I have a BA in math and was a software engineer with Accenture & GE. My wife has a BA in accounting, an MBA in information systems, and was in management with Schreiber Foods. We both had typical corporate IT jobs that come great money and gobs of stress. We were only in our twenties and we already reached a point where we both hated our jobs and wanted out immediately! And I MEAN immediately! We just knew the grass was greener on the other side. It had to be!

Through family, I heard of a local couple (Pam and Greg Tice) who were supporting themselves completely selling physical products on the internet (BarnesAndWagner.com). Sure sounded like a cool way to get out of the rat race. We started with zero experience in anything internet or marketing related.

We did our research and ran across Andy Jenkins. We bought Yahoo Store Profits (Yahoo-Store-Builder.com) and eventually found Brad Fallon (BradFallon.com). When I first talked to Brad, he was at the point of asking, "If I were to offer some coaching, would you be interested?" We said yes because it is pointless to reinvent the wheel when you can learn from someone who has already walked in the shoes you wish to wear. Pam and Greg had never heard of either Brad or Andy and yet they were already very successful. Proof that there is more than one path to making a living online.

Several months later, Brad and Andy joined forces, the Stomper Apprentice I program (now StomperNet.com) was born, and we joined. We paid over $5,000 and really had NO idea what we were going to get for the money. It was a huge leap for us because we didn't have much liquid cash at this point. I am going to be completely honest and share some embarrassing and naive thoughts and actions because I really feel this may help some of you who are struggling or feeling bitter.

We wanted to be just like Brad Fallon and Jennifer Nichols (MyWeddingFavors.com) and I mean just like them! We did our research, chose a market (poker chips), found a drop-shipper, built our first store (SimplyPokerChips.com), were in the black month one, sold $225K the first year, Nicole quit her job within 6 months, I quit mine within a year, and we eventually shut our stores off completely after working from home for several years. The net result, what Stomper taught us worked and we certainly did not work as hard as we did at our day jobs! Heck, Nicole almost won a million dollars through the Body-for-LIFE fitness transformation contest (http://bodyforlife.com/challenge/champions/2005/GrandChamps/bio.asp?comp=nicole_heyrman) during this period. We spent way more time campaigning for this than we did working on our business. It turned out cashing checks in our underwear from our home office was not all that it was cracked up to be...at least for us!

Back in the beginning we kept wishing BA (Brad/Andy) would tell us what would be a great market to break into. We kept wishing they would give us a blueprint with all the exact steps that would lead to success. We kept wishing they would give us more individual attention so that we would be successful faster so we could quit our jobs sooner. We wanted our success to be guaranteed. We didn't want to make even one mistake. We didn't want any le$$ons! We just wanted the perfect path straight to the top. We tried to scratch their backs several times in hopes that they would scratch ours. We felt like none of it ever happened and that upset us.

Sometimes BA didn't call us when they said they would or did not return our calls or answer our emails. When we finally got them on the phone, they didn't give us the silver bullets we were looking for. They kept letting more people into the program past the limit we thought was in place. They made promises that never materialized. We had commissions that never got paid out. We became angry, bitter, and felt like we were being taken advantage of. Naturally, we thought since they were so successful, they should be able to look at our site for 5 minutes and tell us the exact path to millionaire status. We felt like we deserved so much more than we were getting for all the money we had forked over.

We spent another $10,000 to go to China with Brad (ChinaFieldTrip.com) and again we became frustrated because we didn't feel like we learned enough for the money. There were no formal lesson plans, no great speakers, and no resources to take home with us. It was another example of a sales letter with promises that ended up not being delivered. It felt like an expensive vacation to a country we otherwise would have never visited. We refused to give Brad and Robin Cowe (WorldWideBrands.com) a video testimonial to make our dissatisfaction known.

A few years passed and we finally came to our senses and realized how childish our thinking and behavior really was. Now let me tell you what we learned from all of this.

The grass is not greener on the other side. The grass is greener wherever you water it most. You get out what you put in. Your reality is whatever you perceive it to be. For some, running a business is going to be a dream and for others it is going to be a nightmare. Only you can decide what is right for you. If you cannot find a way to be happy today, you will never find a way to be happy no matter what happens in your life. The six inches between your ears controls the quality of your life and happiness can be found in the bleakest of conditions. There is nothing in life that has any inherent good or bad, only what we assign to it with our mind. Unlike just about everything else in life, this you have COMPLETE control over! I am fond of saying, "the dream is better than reality." Often the hunt and daydreaming are better than the real thing. The journey is better than the destination. Mostly because our minds only see the good parts and life just doesn't play out the way we think it will.

BA did not hold our hands the way we wished because if they did, they would still be holding our hands and burping us right now. Folks, that would be a lot of hands to hold at once since they coach thousands of people! Just like children, you must teach them in a way that will allow them to leave the nest, survive, and thrive.

One of the biggest reasons for the phenomenal success of BA is their willingness to step into the unknown time and time again. They stand blindfolded at the edge of the dock and even though they can hear the thrashing sound in the water, they willingly leap in with the snakes, sharks, and alligators. They don't know what is going to happen, but they jump anyway. For they can no more predict the results of their own efforts than your local weatherperson can predict the weekly forecast. There are simply far too many variables in the REAL world. Since they cannot predict their own ventures, how could we have expected them to predict ours? They had no idea what we are going to do or how capable we were. That is an impossible task to ask of them. Besides the fact that if they knew for sure exactly what would work every time, they would already be on it and they wouldn't be telling us.

From A2Armory.com and MyWeddingFavors.com to KateAspen.com, FreeIQ.com, and StomperNet.com...every single step has been fraught with uncertainty. So, don't forget that while they may be more seasoned than us they have not forgotten what it feels like to take giant leaps into the unknown. They still do it every single day. I bet they wish they could get their hands on the silver bullet blueprints for StomperNet and FreeIQ!

Looking back, I realize that they were always doing their best and that they often bit off more than they could chew. Really successful people do this ALL the time. They are also human and thus cannot be perfect no matter how hard they try. Nor can they please everyone all the time. To try would be very foolish and fruitless. They make mistakes and they let people down. We all do this even to the people we love the most.

When we needed more attention, we should have been more persistent. When we wanted more information, we should have been asking more questions. Are we not responsible for anything in life? I now see that we were to blame for much of what we allowed to make us bitter and angry. It was our responsibility to fend for ourselves. That was certainly not their job. They were simply providing information and they fulfilled their end of the deal. We did not fulfill our end. Take responsibility for your own life. If you don't think you are getting a fair shake, speak with your pocketbook. Otherwise, stop moaning and groaning and get back to work.

What is fair? Well certainly not life. Nobody ever said it would be and it never will be. Bad news never had good timing. Every single human being will have a life that includes good and bad. There is no way to get around this. There will always be people who are more successful, more beautiful, more wealthy, more talented, more lucky...and then there will be people who are much less fortunate than you. This is life. Some people are going to work half as hard as you and make twice as much. Others are going to work twice as hard as you and make half as much.

Being in business for yourself comes with risk and no guarantee that you will be successful or make any money at all. Stop acting and treating this as something other than a real business. You may even lose everything you have. If you want more certainty, either keep your day job or go get one. The good part about internet business is that just about anyone can get in the game...unlike brick and mortar businesses. The bad news is that even the most successful businesspeople sometimes go bankrupt and many businesses do fail. This is the risk that you must accept if you want the reward. The reward is that if you are successful, you get a pass to ride one wild roller-coaster.

Even if I gave you the best golf clubs, a membership to the best private club, and daily lessons with Tiger Woods; I would be willing to bet that you would not be a full-time member of the PGA tour in my lifetime. Why? Because these guys really are good and not everyone has the natural talent and/or work ethic to compete at the elite levels of professional golf. The same can be said about business. With all the information in the world, some of you are just not going to make it. Sometimes it will be lack of skills, lack of effort, bad luck, bad decisions, bad plans; and other times your competitors will out-think and out-work you.

I am astounded by how much information currently exists to help people make a living online. Honestly, there is WAY TOO much information for most. We probably used 1% of what is currently available to reach the point we did. You don't need to look at it all, you don't need to learn it all, you don't need to practice it all, and you don't need to be perfect. In order for a plan to work, you have to work the plan. Take action, any action, even if it is not the best action. I know you were probably taught the "ready, aim, fire" bit but it should be "ready, fire, aim" because you need to get the bullet in the air as soon as possible so you can begin learning from experience. All the book learning in the world is not going to make you ANY money.

This is exactly why the self-help market is so huge. Everybody wants the answers but nobody wants to do anything with them. That would be WORK! Just read the book and you will be fixed. Yeah, right! How many diet books does one buy before they realize they actually have to work and modify their behavior and actions if they want different results than they are currently receiving? In nearly all cases, the book didn't fail them, they failed the book.

It has been years since we have spoken to BA and we are FAR from their most successful clients. We never purchased a single other program. You need to realize that if you try to follow parts of twenty different programs, you will just get yourself all tangled up in a knot and go nowhere. You have to find something you trust and follow that with your blinders on to block out the white noise. If it sounds too good to be true, IT IS!!! Stop flushing your money down the drain on all the gimmicky garbage that most internet marketers are hawking. They know you are desperate and that is exactly what they prey on.

Running your own business is hard work and BA would be the first to admit that. Obviously that doesn't work all that well in a sales letter though! I am still using their stuff every day and it still works just like it did back in the early days. And I still wish I had the silver bullet blueprint and I still wish I knew everything and I still wish I was perfect. The difference is that I now accept this thinking as rubbish and get to work instead.

We also learned that we no longer want to be Brad and Jennifer. Nothing against them but we want to be Brock and Nicole. Every decision and choice you make in life has consequences and sacrifices involved. Too often we only see the positives and forget that negatives are bonded to all positives. You cannot get one without the other. Their life is not for us but we certainly respect their success and wish them well.

I honestly have no idea what is swimming in the water under your dock and neither do you. If you really want to run your own business and be your own boss, stop worrying about it and jump headfirst into the water. One of two things will happen. You will either swim to safety at your chosen destination or you will get eaten alive. You will need to work hard and also have a little luck. Them is the breaks. Either way, you will learn a lot!

If you cannot afford private coaching, that is unfortunate but that is your reality. That is also life and business. If you want it badly enough, you will find a way. For where there is a will, there is always a way. If your "why" is BIG enough, you will get it done.

I was once in your shoes too and I know how it feels to want it SO badly yet feel so incredibly overwhelmed, lost, and confused. Just don't let all of this eat you alive like we did in the early days. Make time for fun, keep your eyes on what is truly important in your life, and enjoy the journey...for everything you think you own will eventually belong to someone else and there is no destination except your grave.

Best wishes on continued success and happiness, always.

Brock

P.S. If you couldn't tell, I REALLY enjoy thinking about this stuff.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."
- Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr

Have you ever noticed how spruces and pines in the evergreen forests of Canada never seem to break under the immense weight of sleet and ice encrusted branches yet similar trees in the US snap off under the same load? The lesson?

You can either learn to bend gracefully with the inevitable storms of life or you can proudly resist them and break. Masters of jujitsu teach their pupils to "bend like the willow; don't resist like the oak."

Unfortunately, the world really doesn't care about your plans and dreams. All you can do is give it your best shot and WHEN life begins to slap you around, be more like a pinball and roll with the punches. Frustration and anger often result from resisting the inevitable. The sooner you accept what you cannot control or change, the more enjoyable, rewarding, and fruitful your life will become.