Work Life Balance Doesn't Exist
Balance is not an equal measure of work, love, prayer and play. Nor is it a state that can be achieved and frozen in form for all time. Rather, this amorphous thing called "balance" is an on-going, deliberate set of decisions that make the journey of life much like the metaphor of sailing. Consider the single person sailboat. When there is much wind, the little boat appears off balance, moving forward at an angle, sails filled to bursting and the sailor leaning back over the craft, with one hand on the sheet and toes hooked under the railing. What allows the sailor to stay in the boat is that he is connected to all the important parts of that craft. When the wind shifts, so too must the sailor. Life is also like that. We give ourselves tremendous mental stress when we think that life must balance. Having a different image allows us to see where we might be out of control.
Briefly, there will always be competing and unequal demands upon our time... much like the tug of the tiller or the push of the wind. Depending upon the course we have chosen for ourselves, we respond to these demands. We might decide to change direction, seek harbor, or give full rein to the beating waves and blustery wind. The quality of these decisions depends upon the direction of our sailboat, the prevailing winds, the depth of the water, and the need for overhaul and repair.
Direction refers to the goals, created by our values, which we have established. The wind and the depth of the water represent those people and events, outside our control, which make demands upon our time. Lastly, overhaul and repair stands for the need to cease and desist, to nurture and renew our physical and spiritual self, and to re-examine the course we are sailing.
Briefly, there will always be competing and unequal demands upon our time... much like the tug of the tiller or the push of the wind. Depending upon the course we have chosen for ourselves, we respond to these demands. We might decide to change direction, seek harbor, or give full rein to the beating waves and blustery wind. The quality of these decisions depends upon the direction of our sailboat, the prevailing winds, the depth of the water, and the need for overhaul and repair.
Direction refers to the goals, created by our values, which we have established. The wind and the depth of the water represent those people and events, outside our control, which make demands upon our time. Lastly, overhaul and repair stands for the need to cease and desist, to nurture and renew our physical and spiritual self, and to re-examine the course we are sailing.
Got Burnout? Tips For Energizing Self and Others
If you are anything like the average person living in modern times you'll recognize some of the symptoms of burnout below.
* Work leaves you physically and emotionally drained.
* You feel like you are accomplishing less and doing more.
* You put your work first but no one appreciates your efforts.
* You've lost your sense of humor and playfulness.
* You find yourself short-tempered and angry.
* You go on vacation but the feeling of overwhelm comes back immediately upon return.
What can you do to regain a sense of control? Consider some of these options:
* Hold certain times sacred. Mark off a period of time for yourself on your calendar and treat it with gold.
* Learn to say "no" by creating realistic boundaries. Speak up when you are overwhelmed. Remember, no one but YOU knows what you really do in the course of a day. Establish limits that honor the needs of the people around you while preserving the integrity of what you can honestly do.
* Create a workspace that nurtures your soul. Whether it's filled with pictures of the grandkids or flowers from your garden, this space must speak of you.
* Exercise to burn off stress.
* Allow 15 minutes in the morning just for you. This is quiet time for centering, breathing, preparing for the day. You'll be glad you did.
Remember: you are the captain of your ship. Pay attention to the wind and waves.
© Eileen McDargh, McDargh Communications. All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live.
Since 1980, Hall of Fame speaker Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life's Complexities. Her other books include Talk Ain't Cheap%u2026It's Priceless and Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live, one of the first books to address the notion of balance and authentic work. A 59 year-old grandmother, she recently returned from climbing among the highest mountains in the world. Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com
* Work leaves you physically and emotionally drained.
* You feel like you are accomplishing less and doing more.
* You put your work first but no one appreciates your efforts.
* You've lost your sense of humor and playfulness.
* You find yourself short-tempered and angry.
* You go on vacation but the feeling of overwhelm comes back immediately upon return.
What can you do to regain a sense of control? Consider some of these options:
* Hold certain times sacred. Mark off a period of time for yourself on your calendar and treat it with gold.
* Learn to say "no" by creating realistic boundaries. Speak up when you are overwhelmed. Remember, no one but YOU knows what you really do in the course of a day. Establish limits that honor the needs of the people around you while preserving the integrity of what you can honestly do.
* Create a workspace that nurtures your soul. Whether it's filled with pictures of the grandkids or flowers from your garden, this space must speak of you.
* Exercise to burn off stress.
* Allow 15 minutes in the morning just for you. This is quiet time for centering, breathing, preparing for the day. You'll be glad you did.
Remember: you are the captain of your ship. Pay attention to the wind and waves.
© Eileen McDargh, McDargh Communications. All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live.
Since 1980, Hall of Fame speaker Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life's Complexities. Her other books include Talk Ain't Cheap%u2026It's Priceless and Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live, one of the first books to address the notion of balance and authentic work. A 59 year-old grandmother, she recently returned from climbing among the highest mountains in the world. Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com
Finding Your True North
Follow the steps below to help you determine what is of value to you. Value has more to do with who you are and how you live your life, not what you have achieved. For example, you might value life-long learning, financial security, service to others, loving relationships, and spiritual growth. Once you have identified what is of value, you have a screen with which to filter through goals and activities.Step 1: For the period of one week, keep a pad of paper handy and make a note of every task you perform and what role you play. For example, my roles are professional speaker, writer, wife, mother, friend, office worker, manager, daughter, sister, student, volunteer, and just plain ME. The latter refers to a role that nurtures and cares for me, not necessarily anyone else. Amazingly, I've discovered that every task is related to a role and that almost all tasks come in 15 minute increments.
Step 2: On a scale from minus 5 to plus 5, rate these roles and accompanying tasks according to enjoyment and personal value. In looking at the tasks of a week, interesting discoveries arise.
Step 3: Now that you have identified what is, make a list of questions to ask yourself when you begin to take on a role and task. My list looks like this:
* Does it support my value for life-long learning and make a difference? Will it stop another person from growing?
* Will it stretch my abilities?
* Does it allow me to be with people whom I care about?
* Is it irresistible?
* Is it fun and will it allow for creativity and a change of pace?
* Will it create organization and structure in my life? Am I the only one who can do this?
* Will it nurture my physical well-being and respect my natural pace?
I have discovered that unlike many of my colleagues, non-stop travel is exhausting and not fun. My body requires seven hours of sleep, regular exercise and down time. I can take only so many back-on-back engagements before I must say "no". Trusting that I can say "no" is a lesson I struggle to learn.
* Is it authentic to me and of service to others?
I was asked if I would run for the Board of a non- profit. Knowing I have strong organizational and leadership abilities not to mention an ego - saying "yes" to serve the membership SEEMED appropriate. However, when I tested the request against the other questions listed above, more negative responses appeared.
The art of balancing an unequal life means that we seek answers to all these questions before choosing the next activity to put in our life. Yes there will be days, even months, when the pressure of every day pushes us into knee-jerk reactions and work seems to be working us. External forces and folks seem to be pushing us for more, for faster, for further. Once realized, stop. Lower the sails. Breathe. Ask yourself these questions. Remember, there is a big difference between the leading edge and the bleeding edge. Alienation from our authentic, deepest self and each other draws blood. Connection to our core and the humanity around us draws life.
Sail on!
© Eileen McDargh, McDargh Communications. All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live.
Since 1980, Hall of Fame speaker Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life's Complexities. Her other books include Talk Ain't Cheap...It's Priceless and Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live, one of the first books to address the notion of balance and authentic work. A 59 year-old grandmother, she recently returned from climbing among the highest mountains in the world. Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com
Best Practice Ideas For Companies To Honor Work/Life Issues For Employees
The Families and Work Institute and their "When Work Works" project resulted in an 85 page report "Guide to Bold New Ideas for Making Work Work" that itemizes the practices and trends in companies selected by the Foundation for Workplace Flexibility. Read this report with an eye towards using some of these best practices in your own organization to create healthier and happier employees.2008 Guide to Bold New Ideas for Making Work Work
Work/Life Balance Products From Eileen McDargh
- Work for a Living & Still Be Free to Live
If you are an overworked executive, an entrepreneur, a stressed-out employee who knows there's more to life than receiving a paycheck, then this book is for you. In this latest revision, you'll find information that is both timely and timeless.
Here is step-by-step supportive advice-based on the experience of real people who have made advantageous career choices-that will enable you to find and maintain a life by design and not default.
Click the title to purchase.- Work for a Living & Still Be Free to Live
If you are an overworked executive, an entrepreneur, a stressed-out employee who knows there's more to life than receiving a paycheck, then this book is for you. In this latest revision, you'll find information that is both timely and timeless.
Here is step-by-step supportive advice-based on the experience of real people who have made advantageous career choices-that will enable you to find and maintain a life by design and not default.
Click the title to purchase.- The Resilient Spirit: Staying Right Side Up in an Upside Down World
The events of 9-11 proved that our spirits are larger than we ever imagined. We can do amazing things - collectively and individually. This small book gleans wisdom from the ordinary and extraordinary, offering simple reminders of powerful actions that produce resilient results. As one client told me, "this is a book I keep on my desk and open everyday. There's always the right lesson staring at me." After all, we can use a boost every now and then!
Our spirits need encouragement. We believe in the power of the human spirit to overcome great odds, to make bold moves, to change the course of history. We know the energy and skill of the talented men and women in all of our communities. And we know that our spirits need encouragement to stay the course in a world of challenge and complexity.
Each of us has great strength to overcome odds. We just need to be reminded at times. Consider this little book your "booster shot". Let it spike the antibodies so that you'll not only survive but thrive in your work, your life, and our world.
After all, we ARE in it together.
This book can be customized and delivered in bulk for the employees in your company!)
Click the title to purchase.- The Resilient Spirit: Staying Right Side Up in an Upside Down World
The events of 9-11 proved that our spirits are larger than we ever imagined. We can do amazing things - collectively and individually. This small book gleans wisdom from the ordinary and extraordinary, offering simple reminders of powerful actions that produce resilient results. As one client told me, "this is a book I keep on my desk and open everyday. There's always the right lesson staring at me." After all, we can use a boost every now and then!
Our spirits need encouragement. We believe in the power of the human spirit to overcome great odds, to make bold moves, to change the course of history. We know the energy and skill of the talented men and women in all of our communities. And we know that our spirits need encouragement to stay the course in a world of challenge and complexity.
Each of us has great strength to overcome odds. We just need to be reminded at times. Consider this little book your "booster shot". Let it spike the antibodies so that you'll not only survive but thrive in your work, your life, and our world.
After all, we ARE in it together.
This book can be customized and delivered in bulk for the employees in your company!)
Click the title to purchase.- Sailing From Burnout to Balance and Bounty CD Set
* Does the job that turned you on now seem to turn you off?
* Are you working more and enjoying it less?
* Does life seem to be leading you rather than you leading a life?
* Are you struggling to handle the demands of too much to do and too little time?
* Are you seeking to find meaning and purpose in your life?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, this four CD series is for you. BE WARNED. This is not time management course. It asks you to dig deeper; to look closer at what you choose to put in the blocks we call "time"; to discover the work you were meant to do.
HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:
* The critical difference between work and job.
* The power of self-talk and how to handle it.
* The power of words to create reality.
* A new model for balance.
* The myth of overwork.
* And more.
Click the title to purchase.- Sailing From Burnout to Balance and Bounty CD Set
* Does the job that turned you on now seem to turn you off?
* Are you working more and enjoying it less?
* Does life seem to be leading you rather than you leading a life?
* Are you struggling to handle the demands of too much to do and too little time?
* Are you seeking to find meaning and purpose in your life?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, this four CD series is for you. BE WARNED. This is not time management course. It asks you to dig deeper; to look closer at what you choose to put in the blocks we call "time"; to discover the work you were meant to do.
HERE'S WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:
* The critical difference between work and job.
* The power of self-talk and how to handle it.
* The power of words to create reality.
* A new model for balance.
* The myth of overwork.
* And more.
Click the title to purchase.
Eileen McDargh Videos
The Gregory Mantell Show -- Hate Your Job?
Do you hate your job? Feel trapped doing something you don't want to do? Constantino Delli and Eileen McDargh tell you how to take back control of your life. Delli wrote "The Way" and McDargh is author of "Work for a Living and Still be Free to Live." They both teach companies how to keep their employees happy and motivated.
Runtime: 25:54
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Life Balance Tools
Why Work Sucks and How to Fix It: No Schedules, No Meetings, No Joke--the Simple Change That Can Make Your Job Terrific
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Balance That Works When Life Doesn't: Simple Steps to a Woman's Physical and Spiritual Health
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by mcdargh
Since beginning her consulting and training practice in 1980, Eileen has become noted for her ability to speak the truth with clarity, wisdom, humor a... (more)
