The Worst Lens Ever Made

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic by 77 people | Log in to rate

Ranked #287 in Squidoo Tips, #48,192 overall

This is a Lens about Squid

In this introduction, I am going to say something moderately intelligent about my topic (squid) so that you will think that this lens is worth reading. Once I've drawn you in, I hope that you will buy some stuff.

A squid is a kind of sea creature that some people like to eat. They are also used as bait for other kinds of fish. The term 'Squid' also refers to a person that creates lenses on Squidoo. This is a lens about all kinds of Squid.

About Squid 

I hated doing book reports in school, so I don't really feel like researching my topic and then putting the information into my own words. Here is an article for you to read that someone else wrote.

Squid are marine cephalopods of the order Teuthida, which comprises around 300 species. Like all other cephalopods, squid have a distinct head, bilateral symmetry, a mantle, and arms. Squid, like cuttlefish, have eight arms and two longer tentacles arranged in pairs. (The only known exception is the bigfin squid group, which have ten very long, thin arms of equal length.)

Great "Squid" Stuff on Amazon 

I didn't have time to think of a good title for this module

Now I would like you to take a look at some Squid stuff that I found on Amazon. If you buy it, I'll make money. I'm pretty sure you will buy it, because you were Googling Squid and it brought you here. That's why I made this lens.

Plush Giant Squid 20"

Release Date: 10/15/2008

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: $16.99 (as of 11/24/2009) Buy Now
List Price: $16.99
Used Price:

Usually ships in 24 hours

Sterling Silver Squid Pendant, Inlaid w/ Lab Opal with CZ,1 7/8" (48 mm) tall,

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: $38.40 (as of 11/24/2009) Buy Now
List Price:
Used Price:

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

LEGO Squid Ammo

Release Date: 01/02/2007

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: $1.90 (as of 11/24/2009) Buy Now
List Price: $9.99
Used Price:

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Squid Soap (set of 6)

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: (as of 11/24/2009) Buy Now
List Price:
Used Price:

The Squid and the Whale (Special Edition)

Release Date: 03/21/2006

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: $11.99 (as of 11/24/2009) Buy Now
List Price: $14.94
Used Price: $2.30

Usually ships in 24 hours

Squid Search Links 

I read somewhere that my lens needs 3 modules in order to be searchable, so I'm going to use this one because it's easy, all I have to do is put in a keyword. And if you click on any of the links, I will get a better lensrank!!
Feedmysearch needs your opinion, help and advice
Dear feedmysearch user, Feedmysearch would require some serious server upgrade and a bit of developm...
powered by FeedMySearch

New "Squid" Flickr Photos 

I don't have time to think of any good module titles

I don't feel like looking for good pictures or learning any HTML, so I'm just going to put the keyword Squid into this module and show you someone else's pictures of Squid. I'm in a hurry because I want to make 50 lenses in 50 days!

IMG_4137 by Alex Schwab

IMG_4137

IMG_4145 by Alex Schwab

IMG_4145

Chilli crab by Klobetime

Chilli crab

Temple Street Night Market - Stir Fried Squid by gregw66

Temple Street Night...

loads and fishes by SpecialKRB

loads and fishes

IMG_8148 by Gavin Hay

IMG_8148

IMG_8249 by Gavin Hay

IMG_8249

IMG_9969 by Monica's Dad

IMG_9969

Many impatient hamsters need a hyperactive squid by psd

Many impatient hamst...

calamari by Paul and Jill

calamari

Squid by Banalities

Squid

For Matt...block of frozen squid by VeryBadLady

For Matt...block of...

Food selection - Little Lamb Hot Pot by avlxyz

Food selection - Lit...

Black squid by Nordgren

Black squid

Beijing Zoo by Ivan Walsh

Beijing Zoo

Beijing Zoo by Ivan Walsh

Beijing Zoo

Giant Squid by liday

Giant Squid

D's Birthday by chee.hong

D's Birthday

automatically generated by Flickr

Cool "Squid" Videos 

here is some videos about Squid that might make you want to by some of the products on this page. Pretty cool. Right now, your probably wishing I paid attention in english class
YouTube thumbnail
Giant Squid

Runtime: 13:00 | 840121 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
The Fierce Humboldt Squid - KQ...

Runtime: 10:03 | 96670 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Squid On Suzuki GSX-R Owned - ...

Runtime: 5:24 | 839302 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
600 lbs of Squid

Runtime: 1:27 | 233183 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Baby Squid, Born Like Stars

Runtime: 5:51 | 137157 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Vampire Squid from Hell (3200 ...

Runtime: 4:28 | 1164746 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
First Person: Giant Squid Inva...

Runtime: 1:31 | 32415 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Giant Humbolt Squid

Runtime: 0:18 | 1447119 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Trouble in Paradise

Runtime: 2:55 | 262192 views | Comments

automatically generated by YouTube"

Reader Feedback 


Well, I didn't change the name of this module, and I'm certainly not going to bother putting it at the bottom of the page where it belongs. So once you've looked at everything, you'll have to come back up here if you want to say anything about my lens.

I always stop reading a lens once I see a guestbook, but I'm hoping you'll keep scrolling and see all of the other Squid things I'm selling!

submit

More About Squid 

I tried to add this lens to a group and they told me I had to have more written content. So here is another article about Squid that someone else wrote. I'm going to keep adding this lens to groups even if it doesn't fit in with the topic.

Superconducting Quantum Interference Devices (SQUID) are very sensitive magnetometers used to measure extremely small magnetic fields, based on superconducting loops containing Josephson junctions.

They are sensitive enough to measure fields as low as 5 aT (5×10?18 T) within a few days of averaged measurements. Their noise levels are as low as 3 fT·Hz-½. For comparison, a typical refrigerator magnet produces 0.01 tesla (10?2 T), and some processes in animals produce very small magnetic fields between 10?9 T and 10?6 T. Recently invented SERF atomic magnetometers are potentially more sensitive and do not require cryogenic refrigeration but are orders of magnitude larger in size (~1 cm3) and must be operated near zero magnetic field.

"I'm going to show you some more Squid things that you can buy now."

"Squid" Amazon Spotlight 

Squids Will Be Squids (Picture Puffins)

Amazon Price: $7.99 (as of 11/24/2009)Buy Now
List Price: $7.99
Used Price: $1.52

I'm just going to copy and paste some of the info that was on Amazon, because I'm in a hurry!

Squids Will Be Squids offers lessons such as "Everyone knows frogs can't skateboard, but it's kind of sad that they believe everything they see on TV." Sure, it's goofy, but it's also saying to kids, "Don't believe everything you see on TV." In "Duckbilled Platypus vs. Beefsnakstick," the bragging platypus and his beefy buddy teach us "Just because you have a lot of stuff, don't think you're so special." Of course, there is nothing heavy-handed here--morals such as "He who smelt it, dealt it" and "Elephants never forget, except sometimes" satirically prance amid the more heartfelt snippets of sagacity.

Release Date: 12/31/1969

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Usually ships in 24 hours

A Huge List of "Squid" Stuff on Amazon 

I'm going to cram this module full of all the Squid stuff I can find on Amazon, even though it's a pain in the rear to scroll through them all. It took a long time to find all of these items. Does that count as effort?

Sterling Silver Squid Pendant, Inlaid w/ Pink Lab Opal with CZ,1 7/8

Sterling Silver Squid Pendant, Inlaid w/ Pink Lab Opal with CZ,1 7/8" (48 mm) tall,

This Pendant is Solid Sterling Silver Rhodium Plat more...1 point

Giant Squid by Safari

Giant Squid by Safari

The Wild Safari hand-painted, authentic, and affor more...1 point

Giant Squid, Monterey Bay Aquarium

Giant Squid, Monterey Bay Aquarium

The world's premier line of vinyl sealife replicas more...1 point

Squid: The Definitive Guide by Duane Wessels

Squid: The Definitive Guide by Duane Wessels

Squid is the most popular Web caching software in more...1 point

Matchbox Mega Rig Squid Sub

Matchbox Mega Rig Squid Sub

Dive into undersea adventures that you put togethe more...0 points

Squid T-Shirt, Pine Green, XX-Large

Squid T-Shirt, Pine Green, XX-Large

This Squid t-shirt is 100% Preshrunk Ringspun Cott more...0 points

Berkley Gulp Saltwater Lures 3

Berkley Gulp Saltwater Lures 3" Squid Salt Pepper Glow

Gulp! Squid has the look, feel, and smell of live more...0 points

Outside and Inside Giant Squid (Outside and Inside (Walker & Company)) by Sandra Markle

Outside and Inside Giant Squid (Outside and Inside (Walker & Company)) by Sandra Markle

Explore the eerie world of giant squid, a creature more...0 points

Squidbillies, Vol. 1

Squidbillies, Vol. 1

Studio: Turner Hm Entertainm Release Date: 10/16/2 more...0 points

Animals of the Ocean, in Particular the Giant Squid (HOW) by Doris Haggis-on-Whey, Benny Haggis-on-Whey

Animals of the Ocean, in Particular the Giant Squid (HOW) by Doris Haggis-on-Whey, Benny Haggis-on-Whey

Here is the third installment in a series of refer more...0 points

The Search for the Giant Squid: The Biology and Mythology of the World's Most Elusive Sea Creature by Richard Ellis

The Search for the Giant Squid: The Biology and Mythology of the World's Most Elusive Sea Creature by Richard Ellis

One of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 1998, and more...0 points

The Calamari Wrestler

The Calamari Wrestler

A championship wrestling match pits Koji Taguchi a more...0 points

That Darn Squid God by James Clay

That Darn Squid God by James Clay

In the year 1881, the moon suddenly begins to turn more...0 points

Do You Squidoo? The Power of Web 2.0 for Generating Floods of New Traffic by Joel Comm

Do You Squidoo? The Power of Web 2.0 for Generating Floods of New Traffic by Joel Comm

When Seth Godin launched Squidoo, he opened up an more...0 points

Octopus and Squid (Undersea Encounters) by Mary Jo Rhodes

Octopus and Squid (Undersea Encounters) by Mary Jo Rhodes

Experience an underwater adventure! From sea drago more...0 points

Lio: Happiness Is a Squishy Cephalopod by Mark Tatulli

Lio: Happiness Is a Squishy Cephalopod by Mark Tatulli

Drawn in the age-old style of pantomime strips, LI more...0 points

Mug with wildlife, squid, marine, fish, underwater, cephalopod

Mug with wildlife, squid, marine, fish, underwater, cephalopod

* Custom coffee mugs are dishwasher-safe and micro more...0 points

Ty Squidward Tentacles

Ty Squidward Tentacles

The Squidward Tentacles plushie!0 points

Play-n-Squeak Squid

Play-n-Squeak Squid

Interactive toy with catnip! Microchip sound for m more...0 points

Head Wizard Scalp Massager

Head Wizard Scalp Massager

*Colors may vary from photo. You will receive Red, more...-1 point

Great "Squid" Stuff on CafePress 

Another great module title!

Here's some cool Squid stuff that I found! Please buy it!

I Love Squid Ash Grey T-Shirt

I Love (heart) Squid t-shirts and gifts.

Buy Now

Ninja Squid Dark T-Shirt

It's a squid. And a ninja. With throwing stars, nunchaku, katana, sai, and kanji characters on a red sun graphic.

Buy Now

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Great "Squid" Stuff on eBay 

I'm not really concerned with what might show up in this module, I just put in the magic Squid keyword and call it a day!

Loading Fetching new data from eBay now... please stand by
eBay

 

Giant Squid and a Squid of the Fishermen




Giant Squid and a Squid of the Fishermen

Giclee Print


Du Casse


18 in. x 24 in.

Buy at AllPosters.com

Framed   Mounted

Loading Fetching new data from eBay now... please stand by
eBay

New Did you know? Random Facts 

This doesn't have anything to do with my topic, but I'm throwing it up here anyway because I think it's neat. It doesn't matter if it clutters up my page because I'm not really concerned about that anyway. I'm not worried that no one will want to lensroll me because I get off topic too much.

New Del.icio.us "Squid" bookmarks 

New "Squid" Backtype 

Even more links about Squid. This is way easier than writing about the topic myself! It's ironic that I would even know what a Giant Squid is, if I don't know how to make a good lens. I just want to make my 50 lenses!
Anne Hill: Why We Dream And How To Rewrite Nightmares
[...] The nightmares are trying to get your attention because milder dreams didn't work. So take you...
Ed and Deb Shapiro: What The Buddha Would Say To Sarah Palin
What untrue and unkind things is Nancy Pelosi saying? We know about Sarah Palin, but I think you mis...
reddit.com
[...] Carnivals are a great way to collect info from a number of great resources into one location.....
reddit.com
Upss..sorry...because I like squidoo, hubpages, stumbleupon, and digg..Maybe I will change another s...
reddit.com
Actually, you are spamming. All of your submissions are to squidoo.com, one of the most nefarious sp...
powered by Backtype

Okay, Seriously...

I hope you have enjoyed my version of the worst lens ever made.

Giving Thanks 

I created this lens as part of the Month of Thanks: raising funds for charity in November 2008. I'm very thankful that so many people are out there trying to teach new Squids how to avoid making these kinds of lenses.

Not Your Average Lens 

A Showcase of Awesometasticness

Not every lensmaster is out there to ruin it for the rest of us. I'm always so grateful whenever I come across a lens that is well written, well planned and interesting. These are some of the lenses that are as far from the worst lens as you can get!

My Inspiration 

This lens was inspired by a great lensmaster who also has an idea of what a lens should not be. Congratulations to Mimi for getting Lens of the Day!

Comments 

This is the actual guestbook!

If you've made it this far, give yourself a pat on the back! That means that you've been reading closely!

So what's your biggest lens peeve? Please feel free to leave feedback about The Worst Lens Ever. I hope that you didn't find it too sarcastic, it's all in good fun!

Now that you know what not to do, get out there and create your own awesome lens!

submit

Thanks Oxfam! 

This lens donates to Oxfam, and so can you! I'm thankful to Squidoo for providing great ways to donate to charities like these!

Oxfam America is an international relief and development organization that creates lasting solutions to poverty, hunger, and injustice. Together with individuals and local groups in more than 120 countries, Oxfam saves lives, helps people overcome poverty

We at Squidoo passionately believe in creating new ways to support good causes online. By making a donation to Oxfam America from this page, you are sending money directly to that organization, in whatever amount you want. We don't touch it. We don't even see it. The author of this page doesn't either. And if you made it this far, thanks for caring.

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by Mortira

Hello, world! This is my bio. I haven't edited it yet, because I'm blinded by dollar signs.

Relax! This lens is just a parody! I hope you get a few... (more)

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