The Worst Lens Ever Made

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic by 64 people | Log in to rate

Ranked #453 in Squidoo Tips, #66,133 overall | Donates to Oxfam America

This is a Lens about Squid

In this introduction, I am going to say something moderately intelligent about my topic (squid) so that you will think that this lens is worth reading. Once I've drawn you in, I hope that you will buy some stuff.

A squid is a kind of sea creature that some people like to eat. They are also used as bait for other kinds of fish. The term 'Squid' also refers to a person that creates lenses on Squidoo. This is a lens about all kinds of Squid.

About Squid 

I hated doing book reports in school, so I don't really feel like researching my topic and then putting the information into my own words. Here is an article for you to read that someone else wrote.

Squid are marine cephalopods of the order Teuthida, which comprises around 300 species. Like all other cephalopods, squid have a distinct head, bilateral symmetry, a mantle, and arms. Squid, like cuttlefish, have eight arms and two tentacles arranged in pairs. (The only known exception is the bigfin squid group, which have ten very long, thin arms of equal length.)

Great "Squid" Stuff on Amazon 

I didn't have time to think of a good title for this module

Now I would like you to take a look at some Squid stuff that I found on Amazon. If you buy it, I'll make money. I'm pretty sure you will buy it, because you were Googling Squid and it brought you here. That's why I made this lens.

Plush Giant Squid 20"

Release Date: 10/15/2008

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: $17.04 (as of 07/09/2009) Buy Now
List Price: $16.99
Used Price:

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Sterling Silver Squid Pendant, Inlaid w/ Lab Opal with CZ,1 7/8" (48 mm) tall,

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: $38.40 (as of 07/09/2009) Buy Now
List Price:
Used Price:

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

LEGO Squid Ammo

Release Date: 01/02/2007

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: $4.99 (as of 07/09/2009) Buy Now
List Price: $9.99
Used Price:

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Squid Soap (set of 6)

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: (as of 07/09/2009) Buy Now
List Price:
Used Price:

The Squid and the Whale (Special Edition)

Release Date: 03/21/2006

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Amazon Price: $10.99 (as of 07/09/2009) Buy Now
List Price: $14.94
Used Price: $2.02

Usually ships in 24 hours

New "Squid" Flickr Photos 

I don't have time to think of any good module titles

I don't feel like looking for good pictures or learning any HTML, so I'm just going to put the keyword Squid into this module and show you someone else's pictures of Squid. I'm in a hurry because I want to make 50 lenses in 50 days!

calamari by stu_spivack

calamari

Jeebus Christs There Is A Giant Squid Over There Get Away by fiskfisk

Jeebus Christs There...

Prehistoric squids by Hendricks Photos

Prehistoric squids

Supper by verseguru

Supper

Blowing in the wind by K. Kendall

Blowing in the wind

A wheel of light by K. Kendall

A wheel of light

Smoke and streaks of light by K. Kendall

Smoke and streaks of...

Jewelry Table - Bethel Art Fair by Noadi - noadi.net

Jewelry Table - Beth...

Squid & Cuttlefish Necklaces - Bethel Art Fair by Noadi - noadi.net

Squid & Cuttlefi...

Earring Display - Bethel Art Fair by Noadi - noadi.net

Earring Display - Be...

Space Squids by Eric Kilby

Space Squids

Squid Vicious by dcwriterdawn

Squid Vicious

Hot and Spicy Stir Fried Squid With Rice Cakes by Tobyotter

Hot and Spicy Stir F...

Squid Ink Pasta by savemejebus

Squid Ink Pasta

ssbanner2 by paperfacets

ssbanner2

Tuna, Cuttlefish & Salmon sushi by CLF

Tuna, Cuttlefish &am...

Sun-dried Squid by sherrattsam

Sun-dried Squid

Squid, Buckingham Palace by GoodWineUnder20

Squid, Buckingham Pa...

Cool "Squid" Videos 

here is some videos about Squid that might make you want to by some of the products on this page. Pretty cool. Right now, your probably wishing I paid attention in english class
YouTube thumbnail
Giant Squid

Runtime: 13:00 | 676400 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Vampire Squid from Hell (3200 ...

Runtime: 4:28 | 1021296 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Baby Squid, Born Like Stars

Runtime: 5:51 | 125213 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
The Fierce Humboldt Squid - KQ...

Runtime: 10:03 | 45118 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Colossal Squid Gallery (www.to...

Runtime: 4:02 | 782003 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Eating Live Squid

Runtime: 1:20 | 62327 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
600 lbs of Squid

Runtime: 1:27 | 166364 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Ah! Giant Squid: VC2

Runtime: 2:02 | 159722 views | Comments

YouTube thumbnail
Squid On Suzuki GSX-R Owned - ...

Runtime: 5:24 | 725852 views | Comments

Reader Feedback 


Well, I didn't change the name of this module, and I'm certainly not going to bother putting it at the bottom of the page where it belongs. So once you've looked at everything, you'll have to come back up here if you want to say anything about my lens.

I always stop reading a lens once I see a guestbook, but I'm hoping you'll keep scrolling and see all of the other Squid things I'm selling!

genewolfe wrote...

I really like this lens and as soon as i figure out how to add this to my favorites I will. I no the idea is show what not to do. It's still a very good lens, Humor, graphics, images, layout... you name it this lens has it all. Thanks again.

ReplyPosted June 03, 2009

 
1 of 23 pages

More About Squid 

I tried to add this lens to a group and they told me I had to have more written content. So here is another article about Squid that someone else wrote. I'm going to keep adding this lens to groups even if it doesn't fit in with the topic.

'Superconducting Quantum Interference Devices (SQUID)' are very sensitive magnetometers used to measure extremely small magnetic fields, based on superconducting loops containing Josephson junctions.

They are sensitive enough to measure fields as low as 5 aT (5×10-18T) within a few days of averaged measurements. Their noise levels are as low as 3 fT·Hz-½. For comparison, a typical refrigerator magnet produces 0.01 tesla (10-2 T), and some processes in animals produce very small magnetic fields between 10-9 T and 10-6 T. Recently invented SERF atomic magnetometers are potentially more sensitive and do not require cryogenic refrigeration but are orders of magnitude larger in size (~1 cm3) and must be operated near zero field.

"I'm going to show you some more Squid things that you can buy now."

"Squid" Amazon Spotlight 

Squids Will Be Squids (Picture Puffins)

Amazon Price: $7.99 (as of 07/09/2009)Buy Now
List Price: $7.99
Used Price: $2.94

I'm just going to copy and paste some of the info that was on Amazon, because I'm in a hurry!

Squids Will Be Squids offers lessons such as "Everyone knows frogs can't skateboard, but it's kind of sad that they believe everything they see on TV." Sure, it's goofy, but it's also saying to kids, "Don't believe everything you see on TV." In "Duckbilled Platypus vs. Beefsnakstick," the bragging platypus and his beefy buddy teach us "Just because you have a lot of stuff, don't think you're so special." Of course, there is nothing heavy-handed here--morals such as "He who smelt it, dealt it" and "Elephants never forget, except sometimes" satirically prance amid the more heartfelt snippets of sagacity.

Release Date: 12/31/1969

Avg. Customer Rating: Amazon Rating

Usually ships in 24 hours

A Huge List of "Squid" Stuff on Amazon 

I'm going to cram this module full of all the Squid stuff I can find on Amazon, even though it's a pain in the rear to scroll through them all. It took a long time to find all of these items. Does that count as effort?

Sterling Silver Squid Pendant, Inlaid w/ Pink Lab Opal with CZ,1 7/8

Sterling Silver Squid Pendant, Inlaid w/ Pink Lab Opal with CZ,1 7/8" (48 mm) tall,

This Pendant is Solid Sterling Silver Rhodium Plat more...1 point

Giant Squid by Safari

Giant Squid by Safari

The Wild Safari hand-painted, authentic, and affor more...1 point

Giant Squid, Monterey Bay Aquarium

Giant Squid, Monterey Bay Aquarium

The world's premier line of vinyl sealife replicas more...1 point

Squid: The Definitive Guide by Duane Wessels

Squid: The Definitive Guide by Duane Wessels

Squid is the most popular Web caching software in more...1 point

Matchbox Mega Rig Squid Sub

Matchbox Mega Rig Squid Sub

Dive into undersea adventures that you put togethe more...0 points

Squid T-Shirt, Pine Green, XX-Large

Squid T-Shirt, Pine Green, XX-Large

This Squid t-shirt is 100% Preshrunk Ringspun Cott more...0 points

Berkley Gulp Saltwater Lures 3

Berkley Gulp Saltwater Lures 3" Squid Salt Pepper Glow

Gulp! Squid has the look, feel, and smell of live more...0 points

Outside and Inside Giant Squid (Outside and Inside (Walker & Company)) by Sandra Markle

Outside and Inside Giant Squid (Outside and Inside (Walker & Company)) by Sandra Markle

Explore the eerie world of giant squid, a creature more...0 points

Squidbillies, Vol. 1

Squidbillies, Vol. 1

Studio: Turner Hm Entertainm Release Date: 10/16/2 more...0 points

Animals of the Ocean, in Particular the Giant Squid (HOW) by Doris Haggis-on-Whey, Benny Haggis-on-Whey

Animals of the Ocean, in Particular the Giant Squid (HOW) by Doris Haggis-on-Whey, Benny Haggis-on-Whey

Here is the third installment in a series of refer more...0 points

The Search for the Giant Squid: The Biology and Mythology of the World's Most Elusive Sea Creature by Richard Ellis

The Search for the Giant Squid: The Biology and Mythology of the World's Most Elusive Sea Creature by Richard Ellis

One of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 1998, and more...0 points

The Calamari Wrestler

The Calamari Wrestler

A championship wrestling match pits Koji Taguchi a more...0 points

That Darn Squid God by James Clay

That Darn Squid God by James Clay

In the year 1881, the moon suddenly begins to turn more...0 points

Do You Squidoo? The Power of Web 2.0 for Generating Floods of New Traffic by Joel Comm

Do You Squidoo? The Power of Web 2.0 for Generating Floods of New Traffic by Joel Comm

When Seth Godin launched Squidoo, he opened up an more...0 points

Octopus and Squid (Undersea Encounters) by Mary Jo Rhodes

Octopus and Squid (Undersea Encounters) by Mary Jo Rhodes

Experience an underwater adventure! From sea drago more...0 points

Lio: Happiness Is a Squishy Cephalopod by Mark Tatulli

Lio: Happiness Is a Squishy Cephalopod by Mark Tatulli

Drawn in the age-old style of pantomime strips, LI more...0 points

Mug with wildlife, squid, marine, fish, underwater, cephalopod

Mug with wildlife, squid, marine, fish, underwater, cephalopod

* Custom coffee mugs are dishwasher-safe and micro more...0 points

Ty Squidward Tentacles

Ty Squidward Tentacles

The Squidward Tentacles plushie!0 points

Play-n-Squeak Squid

Play-n-Squeak Squid

Interactive toy with catnip! Microchip sound for m more...0 points

Head Wizard Scalp Massager

Head Wizard Scalp Massager

*Colors may vary from photo. You will receive Red, more...-1 point

Great "Squid" Stuff on CafePress 

Another great module title!

Here's some cool Squid stuff that I found! Please buy it!

I Love Squid White T-Shirt

I Love (heart) Squid t-shirts and gifts.

Buy Now

Ninja Squid Dark T-Shirt

It's a squid. And a ninja. With throwing stars, nunchaku, katana, sai, and kanji characters on a red sun graphic.

Buy Now

Powered by CafePress

Great "Squid" Stuff on eBay 

I'm not really concerned with what might show up in this module, I just put in the magic Squid keyword and call it a day!

Loading Fetching new data from eBay now... please stand by
eBay

 

Giant Squid and a Squid of the Fishermen




Giant Squid and a Squid of the Fishermen

Giclee Print


Du Casse


18 in. x 24 in.

Buy at AllPosters.com

Framed   Mounted

Loading Fetching new data from eBay now... please stand by
eBay

New Did you know? Random Facts 

This doesn't have anything to do with my topic, but I'm throwing it up here anyway because I think it's neat. It doesn't matter if it clutters up my page because I'm not really concerned about that anyway. I'm not worried that no one will want to lensroll me because I get off topic too much.

New Del.icio.us "Squid" bookmarks 

New "Squid" Backtype 

Even more links about Squid. This is way easier than writing about the topic myself! It's ironic that I would even know what a Giant Squid is, if I don't know how to make a good lens. I just want to make my 50 lenses!
"Reddit is useless for adsense" ; Read this spammers! (please upvote so that all the ...
It's Squidoo logic: Stack enough pennies and they'll make money. Of course, finding such a gold-mine...
Is Twitter a microblog or a party line?
[...] . While I don't really submit articles, I do use Squidoo lenses for many things for the reason...
Warning for Whinos – White Wine Leads To Stained Teeth
Good article.The acidity of the white wine left teeth more susceptible to the tea stains. http://ezi...
Squidoo Crackdown on Spam and Junk Lenses
Great information and indeed some of my squidoo pages will get deleted Read more comments by Kristin...
Digg This If You Voted For Obama!
if all 275 million digg this article, the server will crash! hehehhttp://www.squidoo.com/lypo-spheri...
powered by Backtype

Okay, Seriously...

I hope you have enjoyed my version of the worst lens ever made.

Giving Thanks 

I created this lens as part of the Month of Thanks: raising funds for charity in November 2008. I'm very thankful that so many people are out there trying to teach new Squids how to avoid making these kinds of lenses.

Not Your Average Lens 

A Showcase of Awesometasticness

Not every lensmaster is out there to ruin it for the rest of us. I'm always so grateful whenever I come across a lens that is well written, well planned and interesting. These are some of the lenses that are as far from the worst lens as you can get!

My Inspiration 

This lens was inspired by a great lensmaster who also has an idea of what a lens should not be. Congratulations to Mimi for getting Lens of the Day!

Comments 

This is the actual guestbook!

If you've made it this far, give yourself a pat on the back! That means that you've been reading closely!

So what's your biggest lens peeve? Please feel free to leave feedback about The Worst Lens Ever. I hope that you didn't find it too sarcastic, it's all in good fun!

Now that you know what not to do, get out there and create your own awesome lens!

luvmyludwig wrote...

too funny, but so very true. I'm eyeing that squid charm up there somewhere. :)

ReplyPosted July 09, 2009

marymeagan wrote...

Very nice lens,it lets me see that my lenses are sorely lacking in content and links,I will book mark your lens and use it for reference in the future as it has loads of Sqid help links.
Nice job

ReplyPosted May 27, 2009

AlexandraHubbard wrote...

Nice lens! A poignant warning to us all!

ReplyPosted May 22, 2009

whitemoss wrote...

I really loved this page-( "wrestling Calamari" brilliant! )I 'll have to read it again to check I'm not doing these things!
Thanks!

ReplyPosted May 19, 2009

mysticmama wrote...

I just love this lens!

ReplyPosted April 19, 2009

 
1 of 9 pages

Thanks Oxfam! 

This lens donates to Oxfam, and so can you! I'm thankful to Squidoo for providing great ways to donate to charities like these!

Oxfam America is an international relief and development organization that creates lasting solutions to poverty, hunger, and injustice. Together with individuals and local groups in more than 120 countries, Oxfam saves lives, helps people overcome poverty

We at Squidoo passionately believe in creating new ways to support good causes online. By making a donation to Oxfam America from this page, you are sending money directly to that organization, in whatever amount you want. We don't touch it. We don't even see it. The author of this page doesn't either. And if you made it this far, thanks for caring.

Cancel

by Mortira

Hello, world! This is my bio. I haven't edited it yet, because I'm blinded by dollar signs.

Relax! This lens is just a parody! I hope you get a few... (more)
Create a Lens!