How to Write a Condolence Note or a Sympathy Note

Reasons to Write a Condolence Note 

1. Condolence notes are reminders that the loved one had people who cared for and love him or her.
2. Condolence notes show your concern and that you care.
3. Condolence notes help with the grieving process and the healing process.
4. Condolence notes may become treasured mementos that are passed down through the family.
5. In the business world a condolence note is a way of telling someone that they matter as a human being.

Example of a Condolence Note for a Sudden Death 

1. Acknowledge the loss.
   
   Example:
   
   Dear ___________
   
   I was deeply saddened to hear the news about Jeff's sudden death.
   
   
2. Express your sympathy.
   
   Example:
   
   My thoughts are with you, your children and your family during this difficult time. I am still in a state of shock from the news.
   
   
3. Note special qualities of the deceased.
   
   Example:
   
   I remember Jeff's calmness, level headedness and dry sense of humor. I also remember how supportive he was to all of us during those crazy times. I will miss him.
   
   
4. End with a thoughtful word, quote or phrase.
   
   Example:
   
   I think of Jeff when I hear Josh Groban's Lyrics "To Where You Are"
   
   
   Fly me up
   To where you are
   Beyond the distant star
   
   I know you're there
   A breath away's not far
   To where you are
   
   
   Holding you in my thoughts.
   
   Your signature ____________
   
   

Example of a Condolence Note/Letter for a Military Death 

1. Acknowledge the loss.
   
   Example:
   
   Dear ___________
   
   On behalf of the Battalion # (Squadron #, the Ship, Regiment #) ________, I wish to convey our deepest sympathy to you upon the death of your husband, __________.
   
   
2. Express your sympathy.
   
   Example:
   
   I extend my condolences to you and your family.
   
   
3. Note special qualities of the deceased.
   
   Example:
   
   During ________'s many years of service in the ________, he distinguished himself among his co-workers and supervisors with his pleasant, enthusiastic manner and continuing high-quality performance.
   
   He was a valued member of our Battalion (Squadron, the Ship, Regiment) and you can be justly proud of his contributions.
   
   His friends and co-workers remember him with respect and admiration and he will be missed by all.
   
   
4. End with a thoughtful word, quote or phrase.
   
   (The Military may be one of the few places where the fairly formal closure "Sincerely" is used.)
   
   Example:
   
   I hope that time and memories will help lessen the burden of your sorrow, and that you may draw some measure of comfort knowing that others care and share in your loss.
   
   Sincerely,
   
   Your signature ____________
   
   

Writing a Condolence Note for the Death of a Child or Baby 

The death of a child, no matter what age, is always a difficult loss for parents to bear. Since many parents see children as an extension of themself, the death of a child is the death of hopes and dreams for the future.

The death of a child disrupts the natural order of thing in which grandparents die before parents and parents die before their children.

1. The way that a child has died affects the type of grief that the parent experiences. Parents may grieve very differently over the death of a stillbirth, a baby, a sudden unexpected death or a prolonged illness.
2. Guilt and anger are especially pronounced emotions following the death of a child.
3. Parents are likely to go through the "What if's" and "If only's."
4. A child's death is a challenge to every marriage.
5. The father's grief may be hidden, downplayed or ignored.
6. Siblings and grandparents also mourn the death of the child, in addition to the parents.
7. Families often struggle to make sense of the death of a child.

Example of a Condolences for the Death of a Baby 

1. Acknowledge the loss.
   
   Dear __________,
   
   I was saddened to hear of the sudden loss of your baby.
   
   I know you have been excitedly planning for her arrival which is making the day you say "Hello" be the same as the day that you say "Good-bye," be even more difficult.
   
   
2. Express your sympathy.
   
   I am thinking about you during this difficult time and sending my heartfelt sympathy.
   
   
3. Note special qualities of the deceased or the bereaved.
   
   I have seen you handle challenges in the past and wish you the strength to make it through this difficult period.
   
   
4. End with a thoughtful word or phrase.
   
   Holding you in my thoughts,
   
   Your signature ____________
   
   

Example Condolence Note for the Death of a Child 

1. Acknowledge the loss and name the deceased.
   
   Dear ______,
   
   We are so saddened by the news of your dear son ________ death.
   
   
2. Express your sympathy.
   
   We wish we could find words to ease your pain.
   
   Losing a child is one of the saddest life challenges and words that can give you true comfort are difficult to find.
   
   
3. Remind the bereaved of their personal strengths.
   
   Do know that we are thinking of you during this time of loss.
   
   
4. End with a word or phrase or sympathy.
   
   You have our sincere condolences and sympathy.
   
   In sympathy,
   
   (Your Signature) __________
   
   

Condolence Note for a Pet or Companion Animal 

• Genuine, specific, timely emotional support of caregivers at the time of euthanasia helps ease the pain during the grieving process.
• He writes and sends a condolence letter to the entire family within 24 hours of euthanasia.
• Some veterinarians include a brief history or profile of the animal.
• Many include a reminder that death was easy and without suffering.
• Others may wish to send a separate condolence to a child who seems especially affected by the death and loss of their special friend.

Example of a Condolence Note for a Business Colleague or Co-worker 

1. Acknowledge the loss.
   
   Dear Helen,
   
   This morning Mr. Moore told us the sad news of your father's sudden death.
   
   
2. Express your sympathy.
   
   Let me first extend my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. The loss must be very difficult for you as you face these first numbing days of grief.
   
   
3. Note special qualities or recount a memory about the deceased.
   
   Though I never met your, I remember how touched I was when you described the scene as he recited a poem he'd composed for your mother at their fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration last year. His tenderness and humor were both captured in that story, as was your obvious love for him.
   
   
4. Close with a thoughtful word or phrase.
   
   Keep in mind that this office is filled with people who care about you and are thinking about you in your sorrow.
   
   With Heartfelt Condolences
   
   Your Signature _________________