Hiring The Right Divorce Lawyer

Sadly, it is not uncommon for people who are going through a divorce to become disenchanted with their divorce attorney. Sometimes, the divorce lawyer has simply not communicated well enough with the client, causing the client to have a misunderstanding, or no understanding, of what is happening in the client's divorce case. Sometimes the client simply does not listen well to what the divorce attorney is saying, or does not want to hear what the divorce attorney is saying because the client is in denial about the reality of what is happening in his/her divorce case.

After eighteen years of watching and hearing both sides of this all too common relationship breakdown between client and divorce lawyer, I have developed the following list of eight tips on how to hire the right divorce lawyer.

1. You should always meet with more than one prospective divorce lawyer and interview them, just like you would any other type of professional you were going to hire. Any lawyer who tells you that he will easily get you everything that you want in your divorce case should be crossed off your list. A good divorce attorney will present you with all case outcome possibilities, good and bad, as best as she/he can predict, based upon the information you provide. This provides you with information that you need to make important decisions on how you want to proceed with your divorce case. If you do not receive this sort of information from a divorce lawyer you interview, you should cross that lawyer off your list.

2. A divorce lawyer should never state or suggest that he will help you get revenge on your spouse. Revenge is very expensive when it is sought through divorce litigation. Fighting with your spouse through lawyers is generally good for the attorneys who wage and defend in the war, but financially draining for the spouses who engage in this sort of battle.

3. A good divorce lawyer will explain, both verbally and in writing, BEFORE you hire him, what his fees will be for representing you in your divorce case, and how and when the fees will be charged to you. If you do not get this information from a lawyer you interview, you should cross that lawyer off your list.

4. A good divorce lawyer will promptly return your telephone calls, at least within 1-2 business days. It is such a common complaint from clients that their attorneys do not return their calls that it is shocking. Often, clients just accept this treatment because they do not know what to do about it except call again and again. And then, often, the lawyer starts to complain that the client won't stop calling him, even though there is nothing to report in the client's case. The lawyer should know that the client needs to know exactly that, if that is the truth. Clients deserve the simple, respectful courtesy of a return telephone call to tell them that there is nothing yet to report, as well as an approximate date by which the client can expect to see something further happen in the case. Ask the lawyers you interview what their policy is with respect to returning client telephone calls.

5. If the divorce lawyer becomes frustrated or angry or condescending when you ask for clarification or further explanation about something relevant to your case, cross the lawyer off your list. Do not hire any lawyer that talks down to you or talks disrespectfully to you.

6. Ask each divorce attorney you interview how much of his/her workload is related to divorce. If the lawyer has little or no experience in divorce and family law, then you will be at a disadvantage if your spouse hires an experienced divorce attorney.

7. If any divorce lawyer you interview suggests in any way that his/her strategy is to use the child(ren) of your marriage as a bargaining chip or negotiating tool in your divorce case, cross that divorce lawyer off your list. This is contrary to the interest of your child(ren) and can backfire on you in ways that can make you very sorry to have used your child(ren) against your spouse.

8. Be sure to find out what the attorney's policy is with respect to returning any of your money in the event your relationship does not work out and you need to discharge him, because sometimes it is not until after you have hired an attorney that you will begin to experience problems with him or he with you.

You might feel that the attorney does not understand you, or listen to you, or want to hear from you, or thinks your questions are stupid or a waste of his time. I have heard all of these. You have the right to be treated with respect by your divorce lawyer. You should always feel safe and confident that your divorce lawyer will listen well and with courtesy to your concerns, desires and questions.

If you have already hired a divorce lawyer and feelings like this begin to develop, you should make an effort to immediately address the problem with your divorce attorney, and if the problem persists, then consider changing attorneys.

Another problem can develop when a divorce attorney abandons his client at the courthouse by going off to laugh and joke with other lawyers or pals he knows there while waiting for the client's case to be heard. This is particularly bad when the client is alone and nervous or when the pal the lawyer goes off to joke and laugh with is the divorce lawyer representing the client's spouse. If this happens to you and makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is something else that you must address immediately with the attorney.

If addressing any after-hiring concerns does not help, you should consider discharging the divorce lawyer and seeking new counsel. You should not be any more fearful of discharging the divorce attorney in these circumstances than you would feel in discharging an auto mechanic, hair stylist or other paid service provider. Your divorce attorney may feel the same way and be happy to end the relationship.