A mother of a child living with autism

So it all began around April of 2006. Up to this point, I felt my son, Avery, was developing within the typical range of development for his age. Avery was a little quieter than other kids and didn't really play with other kids which I had noticed but his pediatrician nor anyone else had ever said anything to concern me about any delays. I enrolled Avery in a half-day program in January of 2006 at a local church playgroup. It was the first time he had ever been in a daycare type environment. He had always been cared for during the day by me or family members while I was at work.

After a couple months of attending the playgroup, the director contacted me and asked me if I would come in to meet with her and his teacher to discuss how Avery was adjusting to his new environment. At the meeting they discussed some concerns they had and thought perhaps Avery might be experiencing some developmental delays. In addition, they suggested the idea of possibly testing his hearing due to a recent incident that had occurred. Earlier in the week a bookshelf had fallen over and startled several of the students but Avery continued to play as if he was in his own little world. Of course I was concerned to hear this but I did not want to read too much into it at that point in time. I did however think back several months before that as to how he had received his vaccinations including the controversial MMR shot and thought about all the stories about Autism being triggered in children after receiving these shots.

Avery had lost some of his speech, started becoming a very picky eater, he has his own little peculiar way of playing with his toys and lining them up in a perfect row, the smile that he once had which appeared so effortlessly on his face was now replaced with a blank and solemn stare. My husband and I chose at this time to bury the thought by trying not to worry ourselves too much and just decided to have his hearing tested as suggested and go from there. The hearing test came back normal and we were very happy to hear that. I informed the director at Avery's playgroup of the results. She asked if it would be okay to have a local county worker come and observe Avery. I agreed and was more than happy to have him observed as now I was extremely curious as to what might be going on with my son. Later that night, I told my husband about the upcoming observation and again we both agreed that we would just wait and see what happens.

Upon the observation of my son, the director contacted me once again to come in and discuss the observation. I was completely unprepared for what I was about to hear. I set a meeting and told my boss that I would need some to come in a little late to talk with my son's teacher about his progress in school and that they were expressing a little concern in his development.

The day came and I dropped Avery off in his classroom and met with the director, his teacher and a couple ladies from the local Children Developmental Services. They were all very nice and started with lots of compliments and highlights about my son which put me at ease. Then they began to discuss the concerns of how Avery was developing. First they explained each thing that was observed of my son and where a "typical" child developing within a normal range for his/her age should be developing. Then they showed me on a diagram exactly what level my son was developing at. Now I was becoming very concerned, a bit frightened and overwhelmed. Then came the question of "had I heard anything about Autism." My heart sank. I remained calm and kept my composure and acknowledged that in fact I had heard little things here and there about it in recent news along with the controversy of the vaccinations and that honestly I had given it very little thought but that it had crossed my mind in the past. They were very nice and took the time to explain a little more about Autism and that at this point in time it would be best to have Avery observed further.

I met with Avery's coordinator, Jessica, for services through the Children Developmental Services. There was a ton of paperwork and questions. We then scheduled another observation to be held at their office. Upon their evaluation they agreed that Avery was displaying signs of Autism and that I should look into contact the local TEACCH center for a second opinion. Jessica also told me at this point in time that Avery qualified for services even without a diagnosis as he was displaying developmental delays and that they had a program through the county that helped children from birth to the age of three by supplying services such as Speech, Occupational and Physical therapy to address the delays. Of course I was extremely interested.

Of course I said yes. I don't remember much else of what was said as my mind was in a spin. I did thank everyone very much for their time and concern for my child and agreed to sign whatever I needed to allow them to help navigate me through the system to set up additional observations and such.

I remember leaving and getting in my car in a state of shock. I started to head for work and realized the time that had passed was well over what I had told my boss it would entail. At that point, I lost it. I cried my eyes out, and my heart was broken. How was I going to try and keep it together long enough to tell my husband what all I had just heard. I was so devastated and felt as if my heart had just been ripped out of my chest. I tried to pull it back together before walking into work.

I was immediately greeted at the door by a co-worker of mine who was very concerned about how things went since I was gone so long. I immediately burst into to tears trying to mutter out all that I had just been told and then tried to tell my boss the exact same thing. Let me just tell you how relieved I was to hear my boss tell me that if I needed to take time off to get a second opinion or follow up with consulting with the pediatrician to make sure that I did whatever was necessary to find out what was going on with my son. I some how made it through the day at work. I think staying busy with work was the best thing for me.

On my drive home I wondered how my husband would react to all of this. Thankfully he was very supportive of my reaction and emotions and expressed his concerns but reassured me that everything would be okay and lets just once again wait and see what the TEACCH center had to say upon their observation.

At that time we were not sure if we wanted to pursue seeking a second opinion right away and placing the label of "autism" on our son just yet. But after many conversations we decided that we wanted to know one way or another just what we were facing. I did not want us to wait because we were afraid of the "label" and further compromise our sons development more than what it already had been.

A couple days had passed and I got a call from Jessica to set up an appointment to take Avery to the TEAACH center. Unfortunately they had a long waiting period. It would be six months before we could get in. So we set the appointment for December of 2006.

That six months was the longest of my life. I did decide to also make an appointment with my son's pediatrician to catch him up to speed on all that had transpired and looked to him for an opinion as well. At that time he felt Avery may be experiencing a speech delay but also said a second opinion with TEAACH would not hurt.

The day finally arrived and we brought our son for yet another observation to the TEAACH center located in Asheville, North Carolina about 10 miles north of where we lived. I was very relieved at how close we were. Avery's coordinator, Jessica, came along for moral support. I had begun to see her more
as a friend now. She was very sweet and had walked me through every step of the way. One of his therapists, Cynthia, had also come along very anxious to see and hear what they had to say as well. I was so happy to have the two of them there with us.

First we met with the team that would be observing Avery. Once the formalities were out of the way the whole process took about two hours. I was very relieved that Avery had no problem separating from me with these complete strangers. We were allowed to watch the observation through a one way mirror. I remember a few times feeling some anxiety over the tasks my son was not able to accomplish. Once the observation was complete, we all gathered into one room. I was so nervous and could feel my self starting to get flushed and sweat.

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